What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize