Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
