You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
