:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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