the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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