just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
