Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
