I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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