I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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