Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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