that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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