Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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