We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
