I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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