I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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