To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
