you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
