Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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