So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize