just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Welp...herpes.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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