I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
