I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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