Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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