Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
