I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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