So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
