i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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