NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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