i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
