Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
