What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There r osticjed everywhere
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize