I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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