It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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