Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Randomize
