i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
