My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
