Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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