ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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