I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize