they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
