I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i will never coherently bang her
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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