We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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