I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
