The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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