i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
