Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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