im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
