I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
