Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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