Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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