it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
