Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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