so that wasnt chicken after all
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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