i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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