He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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