For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
