Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize