He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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