I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
