margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
