I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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