but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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