Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
